If you’re looking for great ways to boost your bedroom confidence, look no further: I’ve done my research, and discovered 7 of the best tips.
In this article, I’ll compare sex to other things we do in life—-things we have to perform at. The key here is the concept of performance: just as you can increase your performance on the job, in sports, as a parent, etc., you can also learn to increase your performance in the bedroom.
You just have to ask any coach, parent, or teacher to know that a big part of improved performance is confidence. There are many ways to enhance one’s confidence, but I think we both know that the more confident you are at something, the more comfortable you’ll be.
The more comfortable you are, the better your performance will be.
And it actually continues in a cycle: the better your performance is, the more it enhances your confidence, and so on.
In preparing for this article, I’ve done my best to search out the 7 most universal confidence-boosting tips that work for the greatest number of women. Chances are, any of these will work for you, and if you apply all 7, you’ll take your bedroom confidence to the stratosphere.
1. Know Yourself, Know Your Partner
There’s a war saying that goes something like this, “If you know neither yourself nor your opponent, you’ll lose 100% of the time. If you know yourself but not your opponent, you’ll win 50% of the time. If you know your opponent, but not yourself, you’ll again win 50% of the time. But, if you know yourself and your opponent, you’ll win 100% of the time.”
Now, that’s a pretty long-winded statement, but it summarizes what I’m trying to say here: know what you like, and know what your partner likes. After all, isn’t the goal of sex to please both you and your partner?
Granted, both of you are mutually responsible for your shared satisfaction, but you owe it to yourself to exude that sexual confidence that’ll be attractive to your partner.
2. Avoid (Or, At Least Minimize) “Performance Anxiety”
Before you do it, do you shyly mumble to yourself, “I hope he likes it. I hope it’s over fast.”
Why do you say that? Is it because you “know” it’s not going to be good? Is it because you’re anxious?
Yes, you’re probably anxious. You may never have considered pre-sex anxiety as performance anxiety, but it is: you’re performing, and anxious about how your performance will be received. You’re concerned about how your partner will “evaluate,” or think, about you.
A great way to minimize this anxiety is to think of how you’ve overcome performance anxiety in other aspects of your life. Do you practice a lot? Rehearse?
The same approach you use to overcome performance anxiety at, for example, public speaking, are the same ones you can use in the bedroom.
If you find that you deliver your best speeches when you’re well-rested, well-prepared, and when you’re not worried about 10 other things (stressed), then maybe those are the same conditions that need to be present for you to enjoy sex.
3. Fake It Till You Make It (Without Being Arrogant or Deceptive)
No…don’t fake your orgasms, as that doesn’t work in the long term.
Not everyone might be able to do this for long, but you should at least try it a few times. Exude confidence. Show that you know your stuff, even if you’re not as confident inside.
If you can have even a small shred of confidence, that can go a long way toward pleasing your partner, and when you please your partner, your authentic confidence grows.
And when your real confidence increases, you soon won’t have to fake it…you’ll be actually doing it!
4. Have Small Victories
Sometimes, a big, big goal can seem overwhelming. I know it does for me.
What I like to do is take small steps toward my goal, and have small victories.
How does this equate to performance in the bedroom?
Well, if you really have low bedroom confidence, trying to increase it by a lot in one day can seem overwhelming.
It can take time to build confidence in anything you do.
But today, you can just do something small to increase your confidence. Even if it’s just a little bit, that’s fine. It’s a small step in the right direction.
A few things you can do are:
- Follow one of the other tips listed here
- Dress more sexy
- Talk to your partner and get to know what they like, while telling them what you like
- It’s also worth mentioning that getting into the mood is a great way to facilitate having a great time
5. Just Be Good (And Always Be Getting Better)
Here’s a secret: if you’re good at something, you don’t really need confidence. Why? Because all your confidence comes from knowing that you’re so good that the issue of confidence doesn’t come up.
Think about it in other areas of your life. When you’re unquestionably good at something, there’s no issue of confidence: you just do it, and that’s it.
I know this tip is a big step, but you can do it. Be good at mutually pleasing yourselves, and your confidence will grow together.
And also, aim to always be improving, in the bedroom, at work, and in life.
6. Confidence Begets Confidence
When you get better at something, your confidence increases. When your confidence increases, your performance increases. And, when that increases, your confidence, again, increases.
And it goes on in an ever-increasing cycle. That’s why confidence begets confidence.
So, as has been said elsewhere, just do something to increase your confidence, even if it’s just a tiny bit. Keep going, and you’ll have the biggest confidence boost ever.
7. Fitter, Hotter Body
If your partner is fitter than you, or you feel has a better-looking or better-performing body than you, then that can be a source for doubt.
This can be especially true if you’ve been together for a while, and you’ve put on weight or don’t look as “hot” as you once did.
You know the solution here: get into better shape. There’s really no other way around that.
Extra: Can This “Ingredient” Boost Your Bedroom Confidence?
It’s obvious that when you want something, when you desire something intensely, you’ll put forth the level of effort that will increase your confidence.