Love Lessons From Sex and the City

Sex and the City ran for six seasons on Home Box Office (HBO) and garnered praise and appreciation from single women everywhere. The show (and subsequent movie) centered around four unattached women (Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda, and Carrie) in their struggle with dating, relationships, marriage, and love.

Here are some things the characters from Sex and the City taught us about dating.

Quality People Are Hard to Find

When Charlotte met Trey, she thought he was the perfect guy. He was professionally successful, wealthy, connected, and handsome. On the surface he had everything a girl could dream of. The trouble was, Trey had issues with his mother, intimacy, and starting a family. He lacked sensitivity and was unwilling to compromise when it came to his marriage.

Lesson: No one is perfect. Just because someone looks good on the surface doesn’t mean he or she will be a good mate. Look for the innate qualities that will only grow with time.

Cheating Hurts Everyone Involved

Carrie and Mr. Big were the ultimate on again/off again couple. When they broke up, however, it didn’t take long for Big to marry Natasha. That might have been the end of the story, but Big and Carrie couldn’t (or wouldn’t) keep their hands off each other. He cheated on Natasha and she on Aidan.

They carried on with their affair for weeks, but then real life hit. After one tryst, Carrie lounged around Big’s apartment and was caught by Natasha, who came home early. Carrie, rather than face up to Natasha, runs. As Natasha chases after her, she falls down the stairs, chipping a tooth and causing Carrie to stop in her tracks. Carrie is disgusted with herself as Natasha lies on the steps bleeding.

Lesson: If the object of your affection isn’t free, find someone else to dally with. Cheating hurts everyone involved, including the innocent bystander who thought her love was true.

You Can’t Force Love

When Carrie meets Berger, it seems like the perfect match: to her, at least. Carrie is going through a “dry spell” with men and imagines Berger will be her new boyfriend. She flirts; they talk about writing, and then share soft drinks in the park. Berger seems to like Carrie as much as she does him.

The problem is: Berger has a girlfriend. He has no intention of asking Carrie out. His mixed signals confuse Carrie, and they each move on. A short time later, however, they meet again. Rather than avoid Berger, Carrie is drawn to him. She still holds on to the fantasy of dating him. When they do go out, Berger ends up breaking up with Carrie via post it note.

Lesson: When someone shows you who he really is pay attention. If a guy misrepresents himself the first time he meets you, avoid getting involved. A man that leads you on and then pushes you away is not worth your time.

Opposites Can Bring Out the Best in Each Other

Miranda and Steve were complete opposites. She was career focused and he was happy to be a bartender. When they got together, Steve’s laid-back approach to life drove Miranda crazy. Miranda imagined their future and saw only her doing all the work while Steve watched cartoons all day. They broke up, but not for long.

Fate drew them together again, and this time, Steve was now the owner of a bar. Miranda realized that she worked too much and had unrealistic expectations of perfection. They each encouraged the other to change, and the compromise softened the extremes of their personalities.

Lesson: You should never change who are fundamentally are. But sometimes a new love can encourage you to move closer to a balanced life. Improving upon your situation and approach to the world isn’t always a bad thing.

The female characters of Sex and the City might be fictional, but they can teach us how to find love and keep it.