Both men and women, of either orientation (gay, lesbian, bi or otherwise), will agree that physical intimacy is a great way to deepen the relationship.
However, depending on how mature your relationship is, there can be some obstacles. These obstacles can cause hesitation, awkwardness, and missed opportunities.
What’s tricky (and can actually be an advantage) is that when we open ourselves up, we make ourselves vulnerable. We can make silly mistakes, do something at the wrong time, or the worst: be rejected or quietly pushed away.
This is why physical intimacy is such a delicate part of the relationship.
Of course, the deepening of physical intimacy is something that develops over time. It can develop rather quickly (within days or weeks), but it’s usually not fully developed upon the first time you meet someone.
This article will give you a couple of tips and pointers for deepening physical intimacy.
1. It All Starts With Eye Contact
Long, meaningful gazes are usually the precursor to physical intimacy.
You’ve probably heard that body language communicates more than—-or, at least contributes to—-what’s spoken verbally.
Of course, eye contact is an important part of how we communicate with our significant others, and it’s a critical part of creating a deeper, more intimate involved relationship.
This type of communication is a subtle way of opening up to the other person. It can show trust, openness, and can convey mutual understanding.
2. Make Yourself Emotionally Vulnerable (and Available)
I’m not sure about you, but if you’ve been hurt in the past, it’s easy to see how you have trust issues and may not want to make yourself open to your new partner. This is true if you’ve been hurt by someone else, or hurt before by the same person.
A lot of people feel this way, not just you, and it deserves attention.
Have you gotten over, or come to accept something that happened in the past that caused you pain?
Maybe you got dumped. Maybe a past partner left you for someone else…like a best friend. I know of one lady who said that happened to her twice.
Maybe a past partner treated you badly. Maybe they used you. Maybe you weren’t even intimate with someone, but wanted to be…but the other person kept you at bay.
Maybe you’ve had a string of relationships that ended badly. Maybe partners in the past didn’t appreciate you, or had disagreements with you, or maybe you did something that ended perfectly good relationships.
Maybe someone cheated on you. Maybe you were even married, and got cheated on.
Regardless of what happened to you, if you’ve been hurt in past relationships, either significantly or over and over again, it can weigh down on you. If that’s the case, it’s easy to see why you’re afraid of trusting a new partner.
What you have to do is, as hard as it is, forgive…but don’t forget. (A lot of people say “forgive and forget,” but it’s stupid to forget. Learn your life lessons and move on with the insight and wisdom that will help you avoid the same pains you’ve lived through.)
When you want to open up, just start by sharing the small things, such as how your work day went, little pet peeves…then gradually move toward sharing things that you’d only share with a best friend.
Practice these 2 tips, and you’ll find that your emotional and physical intimacy increases. While these 2 tips are good starters, they’re definitely not comprehensive: there are other things you might need to do to get in the mood. You can also use an aphrodisiac like Spanish Fly to increase intimacy.