Weighing a Relationship: Ending a Romantic Relationship

Relationships, particularly long-term relationships, can be difficult to handle. At times, a person may wonder if the other person is right for her. Breaking up is difficult, and should be carefully considered beforehand so as to minimize the chance of regrets later on.

Things to Consider About a Relationship

The first and foremost thing to think about is if the relationship is enjoyable. Everyone argues sometimes, and having different likes and dislikes does not automatically mean a relationship will not work out. However, there should be more good times than bad, hopefully many more good times. If a relationship feels like nothing but work, it may be time to move on.

For a long-term relationship to work well, it’s a good idea if the two people involved have similar levels of ambition and compatible goals. If one person has his heart set on a jet set lifestyle and has a ten-year plan to accomplish that goal, while the other person is content to live a much simpler, less money focused lifestyle, there may be friction down the road. Either road is fine, but it helps if both people are on the same one.

This is true for goals as far as the relationship, as well. If one partner desperately wants children while the other partner has no desire for them, one person will always be unhappy. The same applies for ideas about relationship status. Some people feel strongly that marriage is the ultimate goal in a relationship, and if the other person sees it as unnecessary, there is often going to be a problem.

Opposites do tend to attract, and most people know a couple that seem all wrong for each other and yet have been blissfully married for years. This can happen, but often the differences that attract two people can eventually make the relationship difficult. Coming from similar backgrounds and families can be helpful in a relationship. It’s also good if the partners like each other’s friends and enjoy spending time with the family.

Warnings About Break-Ups

If the end result of deliberations is the decision to end the relationship, remember to be kind. No one likes to be broken up with, and all the reasoning in the world will likely not matter to someone who is hurting.

If unsure about whether to stick it out in a relationship, consider seeing a couples counselor together. An objective third party can often make a couple see the benefits and drawbacks in a relationship, and give the couple a bit of clarity as to whether staying together is what they really want.

Relationships are hard, and knowing when to stay and when to go are also hard. Considering the feelings involved, each persons long-term goals and the compatibility of lifestyles can go a long way to making the decision easier.