Anyone who has been involved in multiple love affairs can say that some simply progress faster than others. Whether they are on-the-spot connections and miracle matching interests, or slow burning long-term relationships, the dynamics of love affairs often extend to the amount of time that it takes to build a close connection.
For those who are trying to forge long-term bonds, understanding why some romances will move faster than others is absolutely essential for creating something that won’t falter under pressure, and can easily survive for the long-term.
There are hundreds of factors that contribute to a relationship’s dynamics, particularly the speed of connection and comfort. However, the three most important are listed and explained below. While they complimented by other factors, these three stand as the most important.
Proximity Between Couples
It can be observed that relationships move much faster in college. One day, two people were casually chatting on the way home from class and, the next day, they both felt like they had known each other for months already.
Proximity affects the way people view each other, primarily because they see so much more of each other, and effectively learn so much more in a shorter time period. When people live near someone or see a lot of them, everything is thrown at them more quickly. Just like language learners master foreign words faster with immersion, people’s minds adapt much more quickly to new people when they are exposed to them more often.
Familiarity With Each Other and the Relationship
A lot of childhood friends seem to find themselves involved in romantic love affairs when they grow up. Part of it is a natural attraction. People who are willing to be friends with someone are much more willing to be in a relationship – and part of it is a result of the familiarity that they bring to one another.
People react more positively to brands that they have heard about more often, even if they have never used their product personally. Merely through repetition, either in direct use or just in some form of identification, people grow more comfortable around something and are more willing to give it their time.
Part of relationships is growing with the other person, and people are much more willing to give time to those that they are already familiar with.
Similarity and Compatibility Between Couples
This should be obvious to anyone, but it is not quite as obvious as it seems. Similarity in relationships is not always about liking the same things. People can share favorite TV shows, artists and movies with their potential partners yet still find themselves completely incompatible with them. Similarity is essential when it is a shared mind-set or viewpoint, and much less important when it is merely shared periphery factors.
While couples often seem to enjoy the same music and movies, it is much less a result of mere coincidence and mainly a result of shared tastes and world views. It is more likely that a long-term couple would meet each other, completely unfamiliar with their tastes, and grow more similar over time than it is to find a couple that grew attracted because of shared direct interests.
These three factors affect the speed at which comfort and connection is established in relationships and they should be used as considerations for making relationships go where and how fast they need to for both parties.